


Waking CJ Cregg

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Comedy, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 20:51:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6581641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What if the storm caused a rift in the time-space continuum?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waking CJ Cregg

**Author's Note:**

> I've written a lot of stories over the years, and I wrote this one a decade ago, but it's one of the funniest I've ever written IMO. I loved writing it.

CJ slammed her hand over the alarm clock when it rang again at 5:48. She sighed, cuddling close to her husband. She was not going back to sleep, but waking up did not sound like a good idea either. There was a bad thunderstorm last night...Leo feared they may lose power. The power was still on, but it seemed the rain and wind was still going. Moving back to spoon, CJ stopped when she felt something tickle her cheek. Whiskers...Leo didn’t have whiskers. She turned slowly in bed and was face to face with Toby Ziegler. CJ screamed. It was not a movie theatre scream but it was enough to wake him.

"What’s wrong?" he asked, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"What the hell are you doing in here?" she asked.

"CJ, we made up last night. You told me I didn’t have to sleep on the couch anymore."

"What? This is crazy." She closed her eyes, rubbed them, and opened again. Nope, still Toby.

"CJ, what's the matter?"

"Um, I had a really strange dream. I think I still am."

"No, you're awake."

"Sometimes that is what they want you to think in your dream, when you are really just in limbo somewhere."

Toby laughed gently, caressing her face.

"OK, well limbo or not, we have to get ready. I thought a morning kiss would be nice first."

What am I going to do, CJ thought as Toby pulled her close. I cannot kiss him; he is not my husband. A baby started to cry and CJ sighed. Thank God for Tim. Toby let her go and smiled.

"I’ll get her." He said. "You are out of it this morning."

"You have no idea." CJ replied.

He stood from the bed and CJ averted her gaze. Toby Ziegler was naked. A quick glance under the covers found that she was too. Well, couples rarely made up with their clothes on. He pulled on some boxers and left the room. After slapping, biting, and pinching herself did not work, CJ looked around.

This was the bedroom she fell asleep in last night, but it was different this morning. The wedding pictures on the night table had been replaced by one of she and Toby at what looked like the Arc de Triumph. The picture Toby gave her of her and the boys on her birthday was gone too. In its place was one of a bunch of children she did not recognize on an ugly green couch.

"Here she is." Toby came into the room with a wailing infant. "This is definitely a job for mommy. I changed her."

"Why is a job for mommy?" CJ asked reaching out for the baby. She was not hers, but she was cute. CJ wanted a little girl.

"She’s hungry CJ."

"Go downstairs and get a bottle."

Toby just looked at her. He looked from her eyes, to her breasts, and back. CJ groaned. The baby was already grabbing for her.

"Look Tobus, I don’t know what kind of alternative universe I woke up in, but there is not way in hell I’m putting my breast in her mouth!"

A few minutes later, CJ was breastfeeding. Toby showered while CJ bonded with the child that was not hers.

"You really are a cutie pie...you look just like Toby. I wonder what your name is. I wonder why I was crazy enough to breastfeed."

CJ stroked her head as the infant sucked her dry. This was a dream, maybe a nightmare, but nothing ever felt more real.

"Maybe it is time to wean her off." Toby said. "Abbey said it could be time."

He came out of the bathroom in his boxers and CJ was grateful. She looked at the baby again.

"Who?" she asked. Toby would tell her the child’s name.

"Simona, CJ. Abbey says five months is fine because she is breast possessive."

"Simona." CJ whispered, knowing who the child was named after. "She is five months...we’ll give her some more time OK."

Toby nodded.

"It’s your breast, and your decision babe."

"Don’t call me that." She snapped.

"What? You're still mad at me, aren’t you? That’s why you're acting strange this morning."

CJ shook her head, trying to stop the tears.

"We’re OK Toby, I mean it. Just don’t call me that OK? Come up with another term of endearment."

"Alright. I’ll take the baby, you need to shower. It’s almost 6:30 so I will wake Maureen."

CJ stopped when she heard her mother’s name.

"Maureen?" she asked.

"Yeah. She felt groggy last night so I think we should keep her home from playgroup today. Go CJ, get in the shower."

She allowed Toby to kiss her forehead before leaving the room. She didn’t know what was happening. Toby was her husband...she had two kids she didn’t even know. There would be more clues at work. Did she even work in the White House anymore?

***

CJ nearly had a nervous breakdown when Mitch showed up at her back door that morning. This was apparently one of those dreams when real life and fantasy collided. Toby was even slightly jealous of him, just like Leo. After a lengthy conversation with three-year-old Maureen, who was addicted to Froot Loops, CJ and Toby left for work.

"Tell me we still work at the White House." CJ muttered as she buckled up.

"That hasn’t changed." Toby pulled out of the driveway.

"I’m Press Secretary right? And you're the Communications Director?"

"Yeah. Ba...CJ, I think you need a vacation."

"I just really need to wake up."

"The shower didn’t help?"

CJ shook her head.

"Tell me, Leo McGarry still works with us right?"

"He’s Chief of Staff. Relax OK; it is going to be a long day."

"It’s Friday." CJ reasoned.

"No." Toby shook his head. "It’s Tuesday CJ. You're worrying me."

At the red light, Toby touched her forehead. CJ flinched.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Checking for a temperature. You feel normal."

***

Once at the White House CJ rushed to her office. Everything was the same, except for the pictures on her desk. Gail was still there, so that was something. Danny existed in this world.

"Help me Gail." She said. "This is not my life."

"You OK CJ?"

Donna stood in the doorway looking at her.

"Donna! Donna, come in and close the door. I need to talk to you."

Donna did as she asked.

"What’s up?" she asked.

"Slap me Donna...slap me as hard as you can."

Donna looked at her with wide eyes.

"Why? CJ, what the hell?"

"Just do it. If you're my friend you will do it."

"I am not slapping you. Tell me what’s wrong?"

"OK, you are probably going to think I am insane, but you have to trust me. Toby is not my husband; Leo is. I woke up with two daughters instead of one son, and all my pictures are gone. This is not my life and I need to wake up."

Donna just looked at her. That’s it, CJ thought; she is calling the people in white coats.

"Say something." CJ said.

"My roommate and I saw this on Montel Williams a few weeks ago." Donna replied.

"What?"

"There were women who woke up one morning and insisted they were living different lives then when they went to bed. It’s called vague...no, no, fugue."

"Fugue." CJ whispered.

She rushed to the bookshelf, grabbed the dictionary as Carol came in. Donna made her close the door and told her what was happening.

"What was your other life CJ?" Carol asked.

CJ looked in the dictionary.

"Donna, fugue is a Latin musical term." She said.

"I swore that was what it was called." Donna replied.

"In real life I am married to Leo McGarry. We have a baby named Timothy. We are in love, and very happy, and I want to get back to them."

"You and Leo?" Carol smirked.

Donna elbowed her.

"We’ll help CJ." Donna said.

"What is he like here?" CJ asked. "Just don’t tell me he drinks too much."

Both women shook their heads.

"Leo is just Leo." Carol said. "He works too much, never goes home. He’s divorced."

"OK. Do you guys really believe me?"

"I believe you believe it." Donna said. "And since you were fine yesterday, something is definitely wrong. We have to find out more about fugue."

***

"Daydreaming?"

CJ looked up and saw Leo in her doorway. He leaned on her doorframe and smiled.

"Something like that. Come in Leo."

He walked in, stood next to her desk. CJ finished the 12:30 briefing and had tried to settle into a normal day. She was avoiding her "husband" though; her head needed to clear.

"In the next briefing I want you to mention that Red Rocks will be named a national park next week. We also have the numbers of children without healthcare and the President is ready to launch his initiative next week. He...what?"

"How are you today Leo?" she asked.

"Fine. Thursday night is the state dinner for the new President of Greece. The itinerary will be on your desk for the 3:30 briefing."

"Have you ever heard of fugue?" she asked.

"It is a Latin word. Something about melodies. What is going on with you CJ?"

"I'm out of it today."

"I see that. I promised once to stop butting into your personal life, but if you need me...is everything alright at home?"

CJ shrugged. She and Toby had been fighting but seemed to resolve it.

"It is fugue!" Donna burst into the office, stopping when she saw Leo. "Hey Leo."

"Hello Donna. I’m going; remember what I said CJ."

"Yeah. I...thanks."

Leo walked out of the office. Donna closed the door.

"It is like some twisted form of amnesia, in which victims can be living two, or even three, lives. Then one morning they wake up with no memories at all or memories of another life. Just like you did CJ."

"I believe you, but I think this is just a dream Donna."

"Tell me the last thing you remember."

Donna sat on the couch and CJ sat beside her.

"It was a big storm last night. Leo and I watched CNN and talked, made love, and I fell asleep. I woke up with Toby. Oh, and Leo joked about losing power because of the storm."

"What if the storm caused a rift in the time-space continuum?" Donna asked.

"Huh?"

"Hey, we can't rule out anything right now."

That was certainly true.

"As long as I don’t have to get struck by lightning to get home then it is OK with me." CJ said.

"You should try to relive the last moment you remember." Donna said.

"OK. I have to convince Leo to have sex with me."

"Did anything weird happen during the sex?" Donna asked.

CJ ran her fingers through her hair. This was about to get embarrassing. Of course, Donna was the only one helping.

"No. There was just a lot of thunder and lightning. I want my life back Donna."

Donna nodded, she was going to help.

"This is the plan..." she said.

***

"OK Josh, aim directly at my head." CJ said.

She stood in front of his door. Josh sat at the desk holding a golf ball.

"Why am I doing this?" he asked for the third time.

"Because you love me, and I am begging you to."

"You want me to hit you in the head with a golf ball and knock you out?"

"Yes." CJ nodded. "It worked on Newhart."

"Toby is going to have my ass if you get a concussion or something."

"If I wake up Josh, it won't matter. I just really need this favor."

"OK, but I played baseball as a kid. This could get ugly CJ."

"Just do it. I'm ready."

Josh squinted, said a prayer that he did not accidentally kill her, and hurled the golf ball. WHOMP! CJ went down like a ton of bricks. He rushed to her, calling Donna into the room. They got her into the chair...Donna put a damp cloth on her forehead.

"CJ." Josh called out. "Please wake up."

He gently slapped her face. CJ opened her eyes.

"Ow." She whispered.

Josh smiled, kissing her cheek. His life would be spared and she looked OK.

"What day is it?" Donna asked.

"You tell me I just got hit in the head with a golf ball. The fact that I woke up here and not in bed with Leo is telling."

Josh raised an eyebrow.

"Don’t ask." The women said in unison.

"No problem."

"It is still Tuesday CJ...you're still married to Toby." Donna said.

CJ looked at Josh for confirmation. He nodded.

"Shit! Donna we have got to take this up a notch."

"I refuse to hit you again." Josh said.

"She has to sleep with Leo." Donna said it in a matter of fact tone.

"Whoa!" Josh backed up. "Close the door; don’t say that too loud."

Donna closed the door as CJ struggled to sit up. That was definitely going to leave a mark.

"At this point lightning seems viable." CJ muttered.

"We are going to work this out." Donna replied. "We should eat first."

They all nodded. CJ wanted to go out; get away from the White House.

"You have a bump on the head." Josh said. "We’ll order in."

CJ rubbed the beginnings of a knot.

"Josh, I am going to need your help. You have to distract Toby later while I make a move on Leo."

"How did I get involved in this?" he asked.

"Look, just keep him busy for about a half hour." Donna said. "It will be painless."

"No it won't." Josh said. "I guess I’ll do it. What is going on with you two anyway?"

"CJ has fugue." Donna said.

Josh looked back and forth between the women, such determined looks on their faces.

"Oh God, I knew this day was going to be weird."

***

"Someone want to tell me what’s happening?"

The President of the United States stood outside CJ’s office. CJ, Carol, and Donna were inside having a strategy session.

"Mr. President." They all stood.

"Henry did the 3:30 briefing; Toby is distracted; and Josh is frazzled."

"CJ has fugue." Donna replied.

"Donna." She said through clenched teeth.

"Fugue?" the President asked. "A musical composition?"

"Donna thinks its called fugue sir." Carol said. "It is a psychological form of amnesia...or something. CJ woke up in a different life."

"Are you alright CJ?" the President came into the room.

"I refuse to burden you with this sir." She replied.

"It is not a burden. It seems as if the whole West Wing is involved. I’m listening."

"OK, I went to bed to bed last night as Leo’s wife and I woke up as Toby’s."

The President stared at her.

"CJ, you and Toby have been married for four years...since before the campaign."

CJ shook her head.

"No, I am CJ McGarry. I love Toby, he is my best friend; Leo is the love of my life. I can prove it. There are things I know about Leo."

"Tell him." Carol said.

"He has a birthmark, on his spine, close to his buttocks. How would I know that if I’ve never seen him naked sir?"

"Good question." Jed Bartlet replied. "Of course I’ve never seen him naked either."

"Oh. Well, he likes to dance; and he calls me baby. He has an appendectomy scar and a passion for Twinkies that he doesn’t tell people about. He didn’t speak to his sister Josie for three years after his mother died. I can get him to sing James Taylor if I’m persistent."

The President crossed his arms.

"So, you're telling me that Leo McGarry is your husband?"

"We have a baby boy named Timothy Samuel sir. The day he was born you stood in the birthing room talking about the Academy Awards...Leo was in Jordan."

"What are you going to do, CJ?" he asked.

CJ turned to Donna.

"The last thing she remembers is being intimate with him last night sir. We figure if we can get her in that position tonight it will wake her up."

"You are going to seduce your boss?"

"Josh will distract Toby." Carol said. "He is not really her husband sir; no one is going to get hurt."

"I have to do this." CJ said. "I have to wake up sir."

The room was quiet. Jed Bartlet looked at the three women.

"I’ll do my best to help." He said.

"Yes." Donna cheered. "OK sir; keep Leo late with some paperwork and stuff. Margaret already agreed to tell everyone he left at seven, and to cut the phone service to his office."

"You ladies have done your homework."

"Yes sir." Carol replied.

"And Josh will distract Toby?" the President asked.

"To the best of his ability." CJ said. "Which means my window of time is small."

The President nodded.

"OK. What time does the plan go into action Donna?"

"Operation Flying Flamingo starts at 7:30 sir. Everything will be in motion by then."

"We have to change the name." CJ muttered. "I hate the name."

"Operation Marksman Make out?" Carol suggested.

"That’s good." CJ and Donna said in unison.

"We had to be Charlie’s Angels in a past life." Donna said. "By 8:00 CJ should be back in the real world."

"Let us pray. I’ll see you ladies at 7:30." 

They all stood as he left the room.

"He thinks we’re certifiable." CJ whispered.

"No, he is going to help. This is a big project and we need all the help we can get." Carol said.

"Yeah. We’re going to get you home CJ. We promise." Donna said.

***

At 7:45, with the thumbs up from three crazy senior assistants and the President of the United States, CJ knocked on Leo’s door. She walked in when she was invited.

"Hey CJ. You didn’t do the briefing this afternoon, but Henry was good. Are you alright?"

"This has been the craziest day of my life." She replied.

"Sit down, do you want to talk?" Leo asked.

"Not really."

She sat on his desk, crossed her legs. Leo leaned back in his chair.

"OK. I’m sure that you came in here for something."

"Just listen to me Leo; let me get through this before you dismiss me as nuts."

"You are nuts. You are also smart and funny, so I deal with nuts."

CJ smirked.

"When I went to bed last night it was Thursday, and we were married. There was a big thunderstorm, which Donna believes may have caused a rift in the time-space continuum. This morning I woke up married to Toby. I am breastfeeding...is that insane?"

"That is not the only thing that is insane." Leo replied.

"I know this is all crazy, and hard to believe. We love each other very much."

"Its not that hard to believe." Leo whispered.

"We have a beautiful little boy with your eyes, and you made love to me last night."

"CJ. What is going on?"

"Look, I know the story is crazy but I need you to do something for me."

"What?"

"Kiss me." CJ replied.

"What?"

"Kiss me, and if it all doesn’t come back to you and I don’t wake up, I’ll just adjust to my new life."

Leo nodded, but didn’t move. CJ pulled him up by his tie.

"Hey, hey! What are you doing?"

"Just kiss me OK. It will be quick and painless."

"Painless? This isn’t fair to me."

"Why not?"

"I shouldn’t be forced to kiss a beautiful married woman. Maybe its not in my best interest."

"Can you do me this favor Leo?" CJ asked. "Please."

"CJ..."

She pulled him to her, taking control of his mouth with hers. Leo pulled her closer; CJ ran his fingers through his hair.

"This isn’t right." Leo moaned as CJ nibbled on his ear. "You're married to a friend of mine...a colleague."

"This is not the real world; it doesn't matter."

"OK."

Leo pulled away. CJ caressed his face.

"I love you." She said.

"I think you know how I feel about you CJ. I don’t want to rehash the past."

"I think I do."

She got up and walked out of the room. Margaret, Donna, Carol, and the President were standing in the outer office.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"I don’t know...I feel sort of dizzy."

"Come on, sit down." Carol said.

"I think I’m going to faint." CJ said.

She swooned, and Donna tried to catch her.

***

"CJ, CJ, wake up. Are you alright?"

She opened her eyes some; everything was fuzzy.

"CJ, can you hear me?"

"Toby? No, I want to wake up."

"I want you to wake up too. Leo, she’s coming out of it I think."

Leo? CJ tried to sit up too fast and sunk back down.

"CJ, just relax." Toby said. "Don’t sit up, open your eyes."

"Where is Leo?" she asked, the room coming back into focus.

"I’m here baby. You gave us a bit of a scare."

CJ turned to look at Leo. He was trying to smile. Toby had moved into the background, his hands in his pockets.

"Which one of you is my husband?" she asked.

Toby smiled.

"I’ll let you get that Leo." He said.

"I am CJ." Leo said.

"And you have a birthmark?"

"Yeah."

"And we have a son?"

"Yeah. Dammit Josh, how hard did you hit her?"

CJ turned her head slowly. Josh stood in the corner like a disciplined child.

"I didn’t mean to hit her Leo, I swear. We were practicing golf. It was Sam’s fault really."

Sam looked mortified. Leo helped CJ sit up, sitting on the couch beside her. She put her head on his shoulder.

"You hit me with a golf ball Josh?" she asked.

"It was really an accident." He replied.

"No, thank you. I had a crazy dream."

"Before or after Josh beaned you?" Sam asked.

Josh glared at him.

"I really don’t know. I had fugue, or something, and Donna tried to help. I was married to Toby."

"Sorry to hear that." Toby replied.

CJ smiled, holding her hand to her heart.

"It was a dream, I think, but we had the two most adorable daughters Tobus. Simona and Maureen."

"After your mother." Toby said.

"Uh huh, and Simon Donovan. I don’t know what it was...it was vivid. I asked Josh to hit me with a golf ball but it didn’t work."

"OK baby, stop talking now and rest a bit." He helped her to lie down and CJ smiled.

"I love you Leo; I knew that I would get back to you."

Leo nodded, kissing her forehead.

"Relax CJ, everyone else can go."

"Sorry CJ." Josh said, waving.

"No, forget about it. You are a lifesaver Josh. Tell Donna I said thanks too."

"OK. Will she know...?"

"Time-space continuum or not, Donna is still Donna." CJ said.

They all walked out. Leo stayed behind to hold her hand.

"Are you really OK?" he asked. "I thought you were out a couple of minutes too long."

"I am feeling woozy, but OK. It was a strange dream and it is good to be back."

"I'm glad that you're back too." He kissed her softly. "Married to Toby huh?"

"It was fugue, or maybe a rift in the time-space continuum caused by the storm. God, it seems silly now."

"I want to hear all about it later; it sounds like an adventure. Rest now Claudia Jean and I love you too."

***


End file.
